Captain Squash

It was unusually quiet on the beach that day. The families and their squawking kids had left. The gentle waves in their rhythmic ebb and flow coupled with the warm sand lulled me to sleep. My friend, Jim, screaming in the water, abruptly awakened me. From his blood-curdling screams, I assumed a shark was eating him alive. Known for his histrionics, I covered my head with a towel. I would feel awful if a shark ate Jim while I napped.

As I was running to the water, Jim met me at the shoreline. Out of breath, he muttered, “Jellyfish!” Pointing to a quarter-sized crimson whelp on his left leg, he collapsed in the wet sand. Classic Jim! Just then, where he had been swimming, the water parted like the Red Sea. A beautiful creature arose, muscles glistening in the sun like Aquaman.

Running to Jim, I stammered and pointed, “It’s a Merman! Do you see him? Look quick!”

Jim remained motionless on the sand whimpering. The Merman swam towards us and beached himself right next to me.

“Never fear,” he commanded. “I am here to save you!”

I must’ve stood there for at least five minutes with my mouth open in shock before speaking.

“He has a jellyfish sting,” I whispered sarcastically. “He doesn’t need saving. He’s very dramatic.”

Ignoring me, the Merman continued, “I have the superpower of aquatic-breathing, but it only lasts for an hour after I dry off and transform. I’ll have to work quickly to save this young man!”

Oddly enough, as the Merman dried off, he did transform into a complete other figure. He was turning green. Maybe, he was a Hulk! No, wait, he couldn’t be. He turned into a giant squash!

“Your superpower is that you turn into a squash?! A talking squash?!” I said in disbelief.

“Technically, I am a zucchini which is in the squash family but I prefer zucchini,” he said as he struggled to stand. “I’m new to this. If you could just push me up, I could hop over and help your friend.”

I heaved and tugged until I had him upright and balancing. “A little help here, Jim. After all, he is your super hero,” I said as I strained to balance the giant zucchini. As soon as I let go, he fell over again. Jim seemed to be oblivious to the situation. He was in his own self-pitying world.

“You almost had it,” said the zucchini. “This time, don’t let go until I tell you.”

Covered in sweat and gritty sand, I began to roll the giant zucchini back into the water. “So long Captain Squash! I’m returning you to the other sea cucumbers!” 

“I’m a zucchini! Wait, what are you doing? I haven’t saved your fr…” Before he could finish his sentence, a wave crashed over him. Instantly, he transformed back into the stunning Merman.

“My friend doesn’t need saving,” I shouted and waved. With that, he turned and splashed me with his tail. I was drenched! “What a horrible superpower,” I thought aloud.

“Come on, Jim. Let’s go home before he returns with the whole garden!”